All you Wanted Was to be Wanted (Tag: Esmeralda)

Ariella waited for her niece at the viewpoint. It was calming and Ariella wished it wouldn't be so quiet. The quiet gave her time to think, and the things she thought about were unpleasant so she tended she occupy herself in many tasks to fill the void. Ariella was so conflicted, between her passionate Niece, and her passion for her daughter. SHe had to explain all of what she was feeling to Esme without her husband there, whom was so warped by his need for revenge on the werewolves and his love for Ariella, that he became almost sadistic.

It took a bit for Esmerelda to arrive, typical of her because she came running up the hill like the wind was at her back pushing her recklessly forwards. Twigs in her long dark hair and a couple of mushrooms with other ingredients in her sash which was tied to make a small bag was a clear indicator she had gotten distracted with something else soon after the meeting. Quickly picking the twigs out of her hair as she caught her breath "I- Im sorry im late, I remembered that I promised to get ingredients for our physician, but I got too much" smilling lightly before seeing Ariella's face which brought her light hearted tone to an end "You... wanted to see me?"

Ariella saw Esmeralda's state and sighed, it was so typical of her niece to be late and filthy.

"I just wish to talk to you. Its been a while since we talked." Ariella told her as she made a gesture for Esmeralda to sit on the rock beside her.

Esmerelda easily read the expression when Ariella saw her again and simply smiled weakly knowing that it wasnt going to help but... some of those ingredients were in thick brush and it was not like she could just forget about it, it was something important for the clan. But when she mentioned them not talking Esme nodded her head "... well I am of age, and I do have to keep track of the princess. It keeps me away from home alot, but its not like I do not wish to talk to you" Esme sated simply looking at the rock before uneasily sitting on it as she looked up at Ariella.

"Your upset with me." Ariella said blankly.

"I know why of course, though you've never mentioned it." Ariella spoke quietly this time and waited for Esmeralda to tell her herself.

At that her niece became silent for a moment before shaking her head "im not angry at you..." she whispered softly before getting up clearing her throat as she moved a stray hair out of her face "I have no idea what your talking about, I just thought you were bringing me up here to lecture me for speaking out of turn, but I stand by my opinions"

"Esme dear, theres no reason for you to panic, I'm not mad at you, I'm not accusing you. I'm trying to understand." Ariella said gently. After a moment of silence she stood.

"I know you know about my daughter Jane. I also know you know a great deal about your uncle and myself's crumbling relationship.I'm not going to ask how you know these things I just want to know how your coping with them." Ariella told Esme in a soft voice, her hair blowing slightly, the sun catching the metallic lily on her cheek.

"Im not panicing" she said quite curtly to her Aunt as she turned away from her "Im not nervous im not angry... im not anything"

Stopping to listen her aunt go on to explain.... Jane... the thing had a name. Her hands on her hips now digging into the folds of her skirt "....you two weren't that discreet about your fighting, it wasn't hard to see it. Coping... ha.... im just fine. The only two people who I even remember raising me at one anothers throats, and a cousin I had to find out about... an-an abomination" her hands gripping tighter before she turned on Ariella, Esme was angry now "You want to know what I think?! cause even I do not know most days! But I do know one thing.... you betrayed my uncle! you betrayed the clan! and I can't even manage to hate you for it.... because.... because you are the only mother I have ever known" holding her head as she shook it "Its not an object... your want you daughter back, you REAL daughter. I HATE the werewolves!"

"Esme." Ariella said wen she was done.

"I've apologized a hundred times for what I did to your uncle. There isn't a day I don't regret it. My affair with Dean ruined my life. I didn't realize what an impact it would have on the rest of my life." Ariella took a deep breath and continued.

"But she is my daughter Esme, she is, and shes living the wrong life. Jane is wasting her days with the werewolves when she isnt one. She cannot turn into a wolf, its impossible because of the witch blood in her. Shes an outcast and has no idea." Ariella explained.

"Good! let her stay with the wolves! she's not a witch! you didn't raise her, you didn't help her up as a child, you didn't hug her when she cried and you sure as hell never taught her magic..... but you did with me" letting go of her head as she just crossed her arms "Maybe she's happy there, but... you can't forget about her can you? no... cause im not your child right? hell im not even a good enough daughter am I? you always think im too flighty or wild~ I didn't come out the way you wanted....."

She was hurt and angry, no longer wishing to talking about this she turned from Ariella and simply moved to walk away "I don't want to talk about this anymore.... im going to town, AWAY from the circle"

"Esme! Listen to me!" Ariella shouted and she walked toward Esmeralda.

"I know you sure as hell hate hearing this but yes I need my daughter, and I love her, I love her so much I would die if harm came to her, but I love you as well! I have loved you! Esme you are the most important person in my life right now and I won't lie to you. I need my daughter for the very reasons you said, I didn't raise her or held her as a child but I held her for five short minutes as a baby and she was perfect and she was mine! Your uncle was coming to kill her! This beautiful baby I had cried and bled for, whom I'd suffered nine months of pregnancy for! He was going to murder her! I smuggled her away to the werewolves and she knows nothing! Nothing!" Ariella beat her fist on a tree.

"Esme I don't expect you to understand my irrational screaming but I have one more thing to tell you." Ariella said gently.

"I love you. Your a strong and independent young woman. You are hardworking and have become a master of your skills. I think you would make a wonderful clan leader. But Jane has the spirit element. I love you. And I'm so proud of you." Ariella told Jane wistfully.

(ooc: I'm going to bed. I'll respond somewhere between the next 8 and 10 hours.)

Esmeralda stopped for a moment turning back to look at her ".... you should have let my uncle take her, you should have never done anything with that beast in the first place. You do not even know this girl and your willing to give her everything! You are right she knows nothing! she probably doesn't even know you exist!" she was angry, she wanted her words to hurt

"If you love me so much, why am I never enough for you?"

Fighting back her emotions she just took off at a run, the winds beginning to pick up speed. Esme wanted to run from this so she did, she never wanted to face this. She never wanted to know about any of this.